1...Panel of "EXPERTS"
For all my money and my limited gyan on the cricketing nuances I can bet you would have never witnessed a duo as dumb as the people we see in the so called extra innings who would easily put to shame a progeny of a blonde n a sardar. Arun Lal and the other random fellow. It fails me as to how on Earth can someone expect people to even pass a glance at their discussions when all you hear is 2 absurdly boring people talk crap in the veil of viewpoints and that too for an hour. What makes me roll on the floor is when the random fellow suggest ways to Gilly,Dhoni,Sachin et al tips on how to set fields, choose dr XI and rotate their bowlers. The Random fellow sometimes gets overboard when he sees people from his clan read the film industry get footage. His xcitement level reaches a zenith when theres a Cheerleader routine on air. N god help us when its raining. Its a non stop 4 -5 hrs torture then. N wats more disgusting is u ve to listen to Mandira n da Chinki Reality star blabber crap when all u want to know is whens the next inspection n if at all there is any chance of a match there or not. The so called comperers of the show croon over the rains being beautiful, the table mountains being beautiful, the hordes of umbrellas looking beautiful, Neeta Ambani looking beautiful but someone please tell me what about the beautiful game??? Who says commercials dilute the fun out off cricket. I would pay to watch the Vodafone commercials instead of this chatter.
2...The Omnicient,Omnipotent,Omnipresent Demigod
A first look at him, u c an obnoxious little jerk, talking with spit on the corner of the lips(yuck!!!),horrendous accent and the love of standing besides superstars.The man they call Lalit Modi. Without discounting the fact that IPL owes its very exsitence to him, watching this man being there in every stadium, with every superstar, at every dugout, at every prize distribution makes u wonder is it his daughter's marriage? Can anyone ever forget his emotional speech complete with thank you's even to his kids n dogs, now that would put an oscar acceptance speech to shame. But wait a while wasnt it supposed be an opening ceremony speech. So finally the great man declares the game open. Oops!!! Mr.President of Republic of South Africa, were u supposed to do dat. Please don't mind, When its cricket and its administrator from BCCI, u dnt argue, u just say Boss is always right. So our great IPL Gladiator took away all the credits for staging the IPL and Mr.President's men took all the headaches of organizing a frenzy for a month at 3 weeks notice. As in India we say, Tension lena ka nai,dene ka. Adding to that aur jab kaam ho jaaye sara ka sara credit le jaane ka.
3...Mandy bani Madira
What happened to the noodlestraps, the plunging necklines, n the ever visible naval? Saree was never wore more "aesthetically" after the Zeenat Aman classic. The day IPL began, here I was getting all ready to ride the IPL bandwagon n with oogling eyes and watering mouth I awaited some skinshow,I switched on the TV, I saw a woman, FULLY CLAD one complete with mufflers n balaclavas. I screamed at my bad luck, For lord's sake this is IPL "Manoranjan Ka Baap" not Krishi Darshan. Mandira Bedi whatever happened to you??? N immediately I get my answer, apparently its biting cold there(but hey dint I see all the heroines in our regular bollywood movies dance semi nude on the snow capped alps???) Mandira u disappointed me. So much for the damn cold of an equatorian climate. Equatorian climate did I say??? Isnt it supposed to be hot during summers??? I have my answers for my own questions as well. At the slightest drop of temp and at certain Logitudinal dislocation,why do v start screaming its freezing out here. I start wondering is it us Indians or is it also with all the other so called hot n humid country's people. White skin fetish is it??? Beats me??? Coming back to Mandira. Its nt dat she has lost her touch at burning the desires of average Indian male (A bikini shot at poolside for a leading national daily still made people kill some millions of their possible descendants on the bathroom floors ;) Its really intriguing what was the reason for the reverse metamorphosis of this flambouyant(read bold) sports presenter to the good ol' Doordarshan's Shanti. Is it da cold??? Whatever it is...Sucks bigtime.
4...The "Ch-In-dian" Idol
In between there u will find a certain Mongoloid asking a cricketer questions like howz he enjoying the scene for he has been dropped from the team and likes. Wasnt that enough u have to bear with his croonings at the drop of hat, or at the drop of raindrops or ahhhh,yes, a glance at Shilpa "Big Brother" Shetty. Was Jimmy Amarnath's rustic Punjabi folk songs less ear jangling, Sony had to hire a singer from China for that (Apparnetly his forefathers were Chinese).
5... The young brigade
Loud statements, apathy to seniors, foul mouthed tall talkers. Completes the persona of Generation X as they like to be called as. There was a time when India's fastest bowler Srinath refused to mouth expletives even when his coach asked him to do so, that was an exhibition of our culture, not of meek sufferers but of headstrong individuals who believe in the very truth of war-U need to WIN a match and not make the opposition LOOSE it. Exemplary icons followed Sachin, Rahul, Laxman, Kumble... But today even a 5 foot nothing Chawla takes a wicket and the only stuff u can decipher from his lip sync is a flow of the choicest Hindi expletives. And there is the exception to Darwin's theory of evolution,Sreesanth, who starts staring and do dirty dance even when someone of sachin's stature is in front of him.. Some years back cricketers used to be the idols of the country for they were not only super talented but humble human beings as well. But today these players, who can hardly match even an iota of the talents those peaceful souls ever possesed, have made Indian cricket give the impression of a street brawl. This IPL has been a true eye opener for these brats coz now the seniors are the ones who are masters of this so called young man's game in trying conditions. IPL has been a great leveller, it has levelled the high flying youngsters too the ground. What is great for us for instance is for once at least u dnt have to cheer for an average fast bowler(Read Praveen Kumar) whose face is alwez made up like his mum fed him human faeces since the day he was born.
For all my money and my limited gyan on the cricketing nuances I can bet you would have never witnessed a duo as dumb as the people we see in the so called extra innings who would easily put to shame a progeny of a blonde n a sardar. Arun Lal and the other random fellow. It fails me as to how on Earth can someone expect people to even pass a glance at their discussions when all you hear is 2 absurdly boring people talk crap in the veil of viewpoints and that too for an hour. What makes me roll on the floor is when the random fellow suggest ways to Gilly,Dhoni,Sachin et al tips on how to set fields, choose dr XI and rotate their bowlers. The Random fellow sometimes gets overboard when he sees people from his clan read the film industry get footage. His xcitement level reaches a zenith when theres a Cheerleader routine on air. N god help us when its raining. Its a non stop 4 -5 hrs torture then. N wats more disgusting is u ve to listen to Mandira n da Chinki Reality star blabber crap when all u want to know is whens the next inspection n if at all there is any chance of a match there or not. The so called comperers of the show croon over the rains being beautiful, the table mountains being beautiful, the hordes of umbrellas looking beautiful, Neeta Ambani looking beautiful but someone please tell me what about the beautiful game??? Who says commercials dilute the fun out off cricket. I would pay to watch the Vodafone commercials instead of this chatter.
2...The Omnicient,Omnipotent,Omnipresent Demigod
A first look at him, u c an obnoxious little jerk, talking with spit on the corner of the lips(yuck!!!),horrendous accent and the love of standing besides superstars.The man they call Lalit Modi. Without discounting the fact that IPL owes its very exsitence to him, watching this man being there in every stadium, with every superstar, at every dugout, at every prize distribution makes u wonder is it his daughter's marriage? Can anyone ever forget his emotional speech complete with thank you's even to his kids n dogs, now that would put an oscar acceptance speech to shame. But wait a while wasnt it supposed be an opening ceremony speech. So finally the great man declares the game open. Oops!!! Mr.President of Republic of South Africa, were u supposed to do dat. Please don't mind, When its cricket and its administrator from BCCI, u dnt argue, u just say Boss is always right. So our great IPL Gladiator took away all the credits for staging the IPL and Mr.President's men took all the headaches of organizing a frenzy for a month at 3 weeks notice. As in India we say, Tension lena ka nai,dene ka. Adding to that aur jab kaam ho jaaye sara ka sara credit le jaane ka.
3...Mandy bani Madira
What happened to the noodlestraps, the plunging necklines, n the ever visible naval? Saree was never wore more "aesthetically" after the Zeenat Aman classic. The day IPL began, here I was getting all ready to ride the IPL bandwagon n with oogling eyes and watering mouth I awaited some skinshow,I switched on the TV, I saw a woman, FULLY CLAD one complete with mufflers n balaclavas. I screamed at my bad luck, For lord's sake this is IPL "Manoranjan Ka Baap" not Krishi Darshan. Mandira Bedi whatever happened to you??? N immediately I get my answer, apparently its biting cold there(but hey dint I see all the heroines in our regular bollywood movies dance semi nude on the snow capped alps???) Mandira u disappointed me. So much for the damn cold of an equatorian climate. Equatorian climate did I say??? Isnt it supposed to be hot during summers??? I have my answers for my own questions as well. At the slightest drop of temp and at certain Logitudinal dislocation,why do v start screaming its freezing out here. I start wondering is it us Indians or is it also with all the other so called hot n humid country's people. White skin fetish is it??? Beats me??? Coming back to Mandira. Its nt dat she has lost her touch at burning the desires of average Indian male (A bikini shot at poolside for a leading national daily still made people kill some millions of their possible descendants on the bathroom floors ;) Its really intriguing what was the reason for the reverse metamorphosis of this flambouyant(read bold) sports presenter to the good ol' Doordarshan's Shanti. Is it da cold??? Whatever it is...Sucks bigtime.
4...The "Ch-In-dian" Idol
In between there u will find a certain Mongoloid asking a cricketer questions like howz he enjoying the scene for he has been dropped from the team and likes. Wasnt that enough u have to bear with his croonings at the drop of hat, or at the drop of raindrops or ahhhh,yes, a glance at Shilpa "Big Brother" Shetty. Was Jimmy Amarnath's rustic Punjabi folk songs less ear jangling, Sony had to hire a singer from China for that (Apparnetly his forefathers were Chinese).
5... The young brigade
Loud statements, apathy to seniors, foul mouthed tall talkers. Completes the persona of Generation X as they like to be called as. There was a time when India's fastest bowler Srinath refused to mouth expletives even when his coach asked him to do so, that was an exhibition of our culture, not of meek sufferers but of headstrong individuals who believe in the very truth of war-U need to WIN a match and not make the opposition LOOSE it. Exemplary icons followed Sachin, Rahul, Laxman, Kumble... But today even a 5 foot nothing Chawla takes a wicket and the only stuff u can decipher from his lip sync is a flow of the choicest Hindi expletives. And there is the exception to Darwin's theory of evolution,Sreesanth, who starts staring and do dirty dance even when someone of sachin's stature is in front of him.. Some years back cricketers used to be the idols of the country for they were not only super talented but humble human beings as well. But today these players, who can hardly match even an iota of the talents those peaceful souls ever possesed, have made Indian cricket give the impression of a street brawl. This IPL has been a true eye opener for these brats coz now the seniors are the ones who are masters of this so called young man's game in trying conditions. IPL has been a great leveller, it has levelled the high flying youngsters too the ground. What is great for us for instance is for once at least u dnt have to cheer for an average fast bowler(Read Praveen Kumar) whose face is alwez made up like his mum fed him human faeces since the day he was born.
